10-06-2002, 03:06 AM
Hi Comrades !
I picked this from the official forums. It is definately the best I´ve read for a while.
Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"?
Well,here's a prime example offered by an English professor
at an American University.
"Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem
story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off
with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. One
of you will then write the first paragraph of a short story.
The partner will read the first paragraph and then add
another paragraph to the story. The first person will then
add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth. Remember
to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep
the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking
and anything you wish to say must be written on the paper.
The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been
reached."
The following was actually turned in by two of my English
students: Rebecca (last name deleted), and Gary (last name
deleted).
------------------------------------------------------
(first paragraph by Rebecca)
At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she
wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for
lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl,
who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile.
But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off
Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she
thought about him too much her asthma started acting up
again. So chamomile was out of the question.
------------------------------------------------------
(second paragraph by Gary)
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the
attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more
important things to think about than the neuroses of an
air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had
spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to
Geostation 17, he said into his transgalactic communicator.
"Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..."
But before he could sign off, a bluish particle beam flashed
out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo
bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of
his seat and across the cockpit.
------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)
He bumped his head and died almost immediately but not
before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically
brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him.
Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities
towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes
Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie
read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously
excited her and bored her. She stared out the window,
dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly
and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to
distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the
beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's
innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.
------------------------------------------------------
(Gary)
Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to
live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian
mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion
missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the
Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the congress
had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien
empires who were determined to destroy the human race.
Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the
Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough
firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to
stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The
lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The
President, in his top-secret Mobile submarine headquarters
on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor,
stupid, Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The
President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We
can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow
'em out of the sky!"
------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of
literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic
semi-literate adolescent.
------------------------------------------------------
(Gary)
Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose
attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium.
"Oh shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other
sort of F*CKING TEA??? Oh no, I'm such an air-headed bimbo
who reads too many Danielle Steele novels."
------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)
Asshole.
------------------------------------------------------
(Gary)
Bitch.
------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)
F*CK YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!
------------------------------------------------------
(Gary)
Go drink some tea - whore.
**********************************************
(Professor)
A+ - I really liked this one.
I picked this from the official forums. It is definately the best I´ve read for a while.
Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"?
Well,here's a prime example offered by an English professor
at an American University.
"Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem
story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off
with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. One
of you will then write the first paragraph of a short story.
The partner will read the first paragraph and then add
another paragraph to the story. The first person will then
add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth. Remember
to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep
the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking
and anything you wish to say must be written on the paper.
The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been
reached."
The following was actually turned in by two of my English
students: Rebecca (last name deleted), and Gary (last name
deleted).
------------------------------------------------------
(first paragraph by Rebecca)
At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she
wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for
lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl,
who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile.
But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off
Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she
thought about him too much her asthma started acting up
again. So chamomile was out of the question.
------------------------------------------------------
(second paragraph by Gary)
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the
attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more
important things to think about than the neuroses of an
air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had
spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to
Geostation 17, he said into his transgalactic communicator.
"Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..."
But before he could sign off, a bluish particle beam flashed
out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo
bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of
his seat and across the cockpit.
------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)
He bumped his head and died almost immediately but not
before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically
brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him.
Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities
towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes
Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie
read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously
excited her and bored her. She stared out the window,
dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly
and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to
distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the
beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's
innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.
------------------------------------------------------
(Gary)
Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to
live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian
mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion
missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the
Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the congress
had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien
empires who were determined to destroy the human race.
Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the
Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough
firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to
stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The
lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The
President, in his top-secret Mobile submarine headquarters
on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor,
stupid, Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The
President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We
can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow
'em out of the sky!"
------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of
literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic
semi-literate adolescent.
------------------------------------------------------
(Gary)
Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose
attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium.
"Oh shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other
sort of F*CKING TEA??? Oh no, I'm such an air-headed bimbo
who reads too many Danielle Steele novels."
------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)
Asshole.
------------------------------------------------------
(Gary)
Bitch.
------------------------------------------------------
(Rebecca)
F*CK YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!
------------------------------------------------------
(Gary)
Go drink some tea - whore.
**********************************************
(Professor)
A+ - I really liked this one.